Quiet.

quiet: Freedom from mental or emotional agitation; inner tranquility; peace of mind OR freedom from external disturbance or interruption; rest, repose   I spend an inordinate amount of time keeping myself busy and always always always processing information. When someone asks me what I’m thinking, my default is to just say “nothing”, but in reality…

Setbacks.

Did you all know that growth isn’t a linear concept? That it isn’t something that will happen in this perfect chronological order that makes everything in life fall into place? Yes, I get it. This sounds perfectly logical and as a 23 year old I should have already understood the fact that our growth isn’t…

Weather Change

Tonight I was driving home from a friends house just as dark was really beginning to set in. The sun had already technically set, but the sky had not yet become completely shrouded in night, the stars had not yet made their grand entrance. I went a different way home than I normally would. A…

Kaleidoscope

I’ve been trying really hard lately to pay attention to where my mind goes when it wonders off on it’s own. I’ve been trying to pay attention to how I feel when I’m walking down that brick sidewalk on Thursday’s or how I feel when I’m sitting on my kitchen floor trying to actually listen…

Having the Conversations

There was a moment earlier this week when I was earnestly surprised by someone. And it was not some huge moment, it came almost in passing. Blink and you would have missed it. But this person in my life surprised me by asking me about a part of my identity that I would have normally…

Sanctuary

It can be incredibly difficult for me to silence my mind enough to feel at home or safe in a place at times. Anxiety can be high, an area can feel too loud, or being around people can just feel overwhelming. And when you add in the possibility of that group of people around you…

Chapters

The way people use words tell me a lot about them. The way they form their sentences and emphasize different syllables shows tiny pieces of their story that would be so easy to overlook otherwise. This almost-obsession with the words people write and speak around me is one of my favorite parts of me. But…

Eye Contact

Have you ever stood in front of a mirror and made eye contact with yourself? Have you ever just looked at your eyes and taken in how they aren’t just one color and how they may not even be the same color today as they are yesterday? Have you noticed the small lines of gold…

therapy

Ahhhh. Therapy. It’s the one thing that I have made a conscious effort to avoid for the last eight years. But yesterday I went to my very first official session with my assigned counselor. A couple weeks ago I went to an intake appointment – a sort of “get to know me and my problems/goals”…

living with intention

When I say I’m going to do the things I mean that I’m going to take active, consistent (as possible) steps towards personal goals of mine this year. And while that sounds sort of simple enough, doing the things really is a daily choice to keep yourself on track. The word that has been bouncing through my head…

Noise and Your Story

Or rather, noise and my story. Because *disclaimer*, I can’t even pretend to start to account for your story as well, as I have only very recently started to get a grasp on what I have to tell for myself. Someone close to me gave me the “writing assignment” of telling my story. And it’s interesting to…

Risks: Heart Things and Hard Things

If you’ve been following these last couple of months, you know that 2018 is my year to do the things. It’s my year that I am claiming as a time for growth and transformation and acceptance. And this post is going to be more of a letter of reminder to myself more than anything else….