you know, it’s interesting when you’re getting to know someone. at first there is this blissful period when you are finding out their likes and dislikes and just getting to know the best parts of that person. and then you slip into the strange stage of finding out what they used to be like and the skeletons in their closet start to come out. we all have them, those little things that we don’t really want to tell anyone. some big, some small. but there is always something that is hard to say but yet it will inevitably come out at some point.
i think when we find out that these people we love and care for have histories that they might not be proud of we start to have conflicted feelings about them at first. maybe not, maybe there are some of you out there that just completely put the past behind you and don’t give it a second thought. but i think for the rest of us it scares us. or maybe scared is too strong of a word. either way we see just how human we all are and it reminds us that we have pasts that we aren’t proud of too.
i have some amazing people in my life. and recently someone who i have gotten exceptionally close with told me things that he had done in the past. he wanted to get it all out in the open so that there wasn’t anything out there that could come between us. and it was hard to hear at first. but judging someone by their past is not something that i believe in. i have a past just like everyone else does and i know how hard it can be to admit that there are some shadows that i would rather not talk about.
it was a reminder that we all just need to be accepted for who we are. we are all just doing the best we can.
when i said it’s interesting when you are getting to know someone, i meant it. because it’s such an intricate dance of vulnerability when you are really trying to get to know someone. i feel lucky that he trusted me enough to talk about it. we live in a world where vulnerability is hard to come by because it is so much easier to just hide behind whatever personae you have built around yourself than it is to be honest with each other. it hurts. it pulls something inside you like that last string you’ve been holding on to inside yourself is stretching to a breaking point and when it finally snaps you find out that there is more inside you than just that thing you’ve been holding on to.
i’m beginning to think that vulnerability is my word for 2015. it may be seven months late for the new year, but i think it is starting to represent every change that i’ve come across this year.
here’s to being honest with each other.