searching for perspective

have you ever been at the top of some building, or tree, or even just on the roof of your house and have that moment when things take on a new light? there is just something about being elevated above the world that you normally live in that makes you see things a different way.

lately i’ve been craving new perspective. parts of life have just sort of become too circular, too repetitive and not in a good way. naturally, it has me searching out ways to change. or rather i have found myself looking at the parts of my life that i am unhappy with and figuring out just what needs to happen to change that.

part of that change is coming in the form of refining my budget to account for some of the travels that i’ll be taking later this year because over-spending has become a repeat offender when it comes to making these travels possible. making a new budget, while possibly time consuming, is a simple change to put into action which is sort of relieving when i think of other areas that i’m concerned about.

the thing is, in searching for a new perspective i actually found a way that is helping bring about some of the changes that i have been looking for. in the past three weeks i have started a semi-regular walk/run routine that is surprisingly enough working as an effective stress reliever from work and school as well as a way for me to start making changes with my body. i have known for a long time that i am not healthy and my body has suffered for it. even as a child i was a heavy kid and that has definitely continued into early adulthood. i used to be afraid of going out and trying to lose the weight because i was afraid of failure and because of that i really did fail for a long time to lose the weight.

that is starting to change though because a friend of mine has helped put my body image of myself into perspective as far as where i want to be in life. it doesn’t really matter what i look like if i want to be an author or a journalist. what does matter is that i am healthy enough to go out and explore and find the things that i want to write about and the things i want to experience. before, i would let those become excuses to why i couldn’t follow my dreams of being a writer. but now i don’t have excuses. i’m doing this because i want to be able to enjoy the life that i am trying to build for myself.

it strange how things change when you realize that not everyone sees you how you see you. people can see you as your passion and your dream instead of just what you look like. we just can’t let things like that determine what your future is going to hold.

the state of my finances and health aren’t the only parts of my life that i’m trying to get new perspective on though. there are things that i have been avoiding and things that i didn’t think i was capable of. things that i thought were always just going to be in the way because i was too afraid to see past it.

i got the chance to just hang off my back deck today and watch the life move in the woods behind our house. and even just being twenty feet off the ground it was interesting how my thoughts changed. somehow, feeling the nothingness beneath my feet and nothing but the world going on in front of me helped changed my mindset tonight. i’m far more capable of changing what i want to in this life than i give myself credit for. no one else is going to change your perspective on your life for you. no one else can control what you’re going to do with your life. you’re more than worth fighting to get to where you want, even if those around you don’t necessarily see things as a worthwhile cause.

i’m still looking for a new perspective on life, but i know i am not going to find it by standing still. i’m ready to go.

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